[can i]

dear, can i know how u feel?

can i touch ur heart?

i jz wanna know.

[wateva]

recently my mood so unstable
dunno is becoz of too much of tension.. or stress
actually i cared about alot of thing but i jz didn't say out
is becoz u didn't tell me ur things oso, so i oso dun feel like telling u my thing
i m always jz an outsider for u!!! and she is ur only beloved future wife! maybe i got ntg to do with u in the future, this u always make me think so. that's y u won't tell me much thing about u and ur family. maybe i m jz someone to acc u past ur time. but i dun mind la... i'll do my best.......
alot of question keep bothering me....
hv u contact vf her recently? (i always wanted to ask u.. but i didn't..)
i m still wondering why tat day she canot go hv her puk number herself at pyramid maxis, why muz u help her to get her puk number, is she still under ur line?
dear... i always wonder both of u still 2gether?
still miss each other but why wan lidat... sigh...................

[the ring]

suddenly think about the ring

i wonder where is the ring right now
u still wearing? u kept it in somewhere or throw it since the day u left me..

jz wondering....

[sigh]

today saw my dear's fb inside got a album name estherwong.
suddenly feel weird! but dunno what kind of feeling.
1st is anger but after that i feel like ntg d..
coz edy past! although i know my bf lied to me, i can c from the date.
but watever is edy past. dun wanna mention about her sad things and past d...
jz wish my dear live happily and always smile.... ^_____^

[diary4715806698684]

18/01/2009

1st day of class! i skipped! so bad la me
promise this term will be a good girl good student but 1st day edy skipped class!
is becoz of everything haven't settle yet!
but it's ok... 2nd day and the rest of the day of my diploma life i'll finish until the end!
i know i can! so i can! heheheee

but 2day so bad luck! saw my bf's ex-estherwong at pyramid summore same shop-cotton on!
i realy dun like ppl starring at me lorx! f*ck! !!##$%^&*
make my mood no good only , only for those few min.
hahahaa...
then i went to 1U.. to find one dress...
coz i forever21 pyramid no more size so i and my friends purposely go to 1U find! so happy ^_______^

[diary of today]

i knew what is happening recently.
recently we r very good! but somehow the feeling is still nt right.
the break up topic keep coming through our mind and mouth.
at 1st i m the one who suggest something, coz i jz wan to be with u.
i scared u'll leave me soon, i jz wanna get something to comfort myself.
but end up u rather choose the shortest day with me? T-T
i m so sad... this morning, when u went out i was pretending to sleep but after awhile really fall sleep and suddenly jump up, my tears is flying out from my eyes, i was so nervous when i c u r nt beside me, even ur clothes anything, ntg left there. i wanted to drive out to chase u bak, i too nervous until i can't find my car key, i kicked on something and my toe very pain. i very scared. scared u'll leave me lidat. i really falled 4 u. although i never say out my feeling but i really do loved u. but u'll never know how i feel. i hv to bear for so many things. dear...... why u so unfair to me?
i m oso a human, a girl that nid love and care. i m nt them nor her. nt all the end of a relationship is the same, dun scared to love me. i'm nt her. i won't hurt u. pls treat me fair with ur heart.

sometime i will think... why in my previous relationship, i m the one who hurt her alot and get hurt, i got my punishment and now i m helping someone to punish the another person? after that, the girl got her lesson, she changed good and the someone will go bak to her with happy ending? and left me alone here again...
sometime human r really selfish, i want her to go bak to her, but i really dun wan to let go my hand..! is becoz i loved her. i appreciated every moment with her. but what about her? do she appreciate me? she jz scared of everything! sigh

something even sad, i went to china on 12122009-17122009, and my b'day is on 13122009, that night where she went? she never tell me. now i wonder why she so cold to me when i came bak from china, i tot she said will make me feel more secure after bak from china, wanted to make clear everything but whn i came bak is nt lidat. i really hate ppl say nia didn't do. and she overnight at esther there, helping esther to do her homework. after that what happened who know?! i asked ppl, all oso said sure soemthing will happen between them la! sigh! dunno why i still dun believe her what she said, i really think that what esther told yj that she is jz flirting vf me and while with me, she still hv sex vf esther. this topic really keep cross my mind. i can never imagine my bf sleep with other girl!!! i really dunno wat to do. for my previous me, if i know my bf do such thing, i'll never accept and wanted to break up, but why now i can jz bear and pretend like ntg happen?

today we talked about a topic, about songs, she talked about laz time actually she wanted to marry esther, this even make me sad. now only i know their relationship is edy so far... so far....
i m jz a beginner, and she never let me chance to try oso! jz punished me with her past! i m trying my best to do good myself! i really changed alot! everyone who know me, they said i really changed and growth up but when i m good now, no ppl will appreciate me? sometime i really think, laz time although i never be so good but still got ppl love me more than i love her, but now is different...
the started of this relationship is edy a mistake! is nt what i always wanted in my starter for my every love story. it should start with i beloved by someone so the someone will loved me always and appreciate me! but not i loved the someone more than she love me. but this is oso what i choose! i wanted a stable relationship, a commitment. so i hv to choose to love that person with my heart! loved always hv to be someone loved another one more than another one loved the someone. and now i choose to be the someone. becoz i knew if i really stick to it, i can be very serious and if i choose the beloved by someone more than i love her, than i can really play and flirt around!

u always ask me what i wan???
now i tell u what i wan. i wan a very stable relationship! i wan to last long with u! can i? i knew sure u will laugh if u hear i say this to u. coz now u r in a very 'anything' mood, u said u never think far and dun wanna plan so far coz everything will end up different with wat u plan. maybe as like what u said, let the time prove everything. action show everything but not word! but can u gv me some secure action? i feel so insecure becoz u r in the 'anything' mood, i feel like u'll leave me anytime anysecond. i m so scared. u always say u'll expired, then i oso always joke with u and agreed with what u said. u think this is really what in my heart? i never put a expire date on u! why i choose to at least finish my diploma, is nt becoz we'll break up after my diploma but is i wish u could walk 2gether at least one and a half year, and maybe longer. u always said after my diploma, i'll do my things coz i hv my own plan, and maybe we will break up, but i never think of break up b4, although i'll do my things but i will balance up my relationship with career oso! pls think positively! sigh.....

all i wan is jz a very normal, simple, romantic, matured relationship that can last long. no break up this word in the dictionary and in my relationship.

[changed]

feel like so much things wanna write here!
but when i came in to this page, i can't think of anything.

i'll change my link, coz dun want anyone to c my page!
sometimes really dun even know who will view my page.
so this make me feel so insecure writing my feeling here!

[自己]

我只想做回 我自己！
爱玩 爱出街 爱闹 最爱自己~
刁蛮 任性 的我！
就是我自己啦。

做自己喜欢做的事
"我喜欢就好"！
不理别人怎样看我
总之我对得起我良心就好~

穿自己想穿的衣
戴自己想戴的帽
买自己想买的东东啦~~

这样的生活 多好呢！

.

no mood write anything

jz one word "烦" !!!!!!!!!!!