[chap goh meh]

28/02/2010 sunny day

the last day of CNY -chap goh meh
every family having family dinner right now..
and where is my family members?
........
sometimes i really jealous ppl having family dinners.
and really missing u all+my old house..
feeling very warm..
and now i m lucky that i hv u with me.

today u went bak to k.l lo..
although quite em se tak but cannot tell u..

hmm..some ppl r leaving here to further their studies and dreams..
some ppl r emo-ing/sobbing coz of them..
but where is mine?

2moro onwards i hv to do something..
nt gonna let go the precious time jz doing ntg!
i wanna make my dreams come true!
+u+u Rachel goh!

[today's mood 27/02/2010]

i choosed to believed
i dunno r u lying to me anot
but i trust u
i'll always think, as what u said
if u wanna lie, u r a good liar
but i can't do anything
jz can trust u
so that i won't think much
and can love truely with my heart

[gone]

i m so affraid
what m i affraid for?
for falling in love so deep again? and being dump again?
i really can't take it.
i m so scared.....
when u r nt around me,when i can't c u,when i can't hear u,when i always dream of u!
where is the previous me?!
where is RACHEL GOH YEE CHING?!
where is the one who very confident in her every relationship?!
where???????

[sorry]

i dunno y i m bad mood/moody and cry
but i hv to hide it
i dun wan u c then think that i m unhappy when be vf u
jz dream of something about u
and u called me while i m sleeping
told me that u r out to take a break
now i m sitting alone infront of the laptop
tears fall down........
thinking......
is things goes right?
or wrong?
i always jz wanna make things right
and now should i really nid to learn to let go abit?
is it i hold u too tight?
that's y u nid to breathe and hv a break.
i really shouldn't hold u so tight.
i m sorry...........

[about us]

i tell u im fucking hate u keep repeating!
keep repeating our problem
u didn't even gv me time to change and prove it
stop repeating and pulling my leg
coz i m changing...
i m trying my best to make things better
i nid time!
pls let me coope with u...
and u too pls slow down...

i really dislike u keep say i love u becoz of ur age!
that's nt true!
STOP saying that again pls...........
while i with u, i really nvr treat u or even think that u'r that old lo!
sometime i feel i m even older than u...
STOP pulling my leg..
keep say i unhappy when vf u, if i unhappy i'll say out lo!
and NEVER EVER ask me to find others to get my happiness!
u think if i be with others i'll be more happy????
'YOU' r wrong!
why dun u find some solution!
when u'r loving me, u'll find all solution to fix all the problem!
but when u'r nt with me anymore, all this reason will be coming out!

STOP saying i dislike ur attitude!
somehow something i dislike but doesn't mean i can't accept!
and u make me accepted the fact and used to it!
so pls stop finding reason or problem.........
i dun wan this all will be the reason for us in the future!
is invalid reason as what u said since after we talked about!
coz i loved u!

[22/02/2010]

CNY day9

looking on the fireworks all around
listening to the red firecrackers so loud
feeling the warm of ppl around
missing my childhood so badly
but i m looking forward on my everyday with u

[Penang-CNY2010)

jz back from penang few days ago
went to penang on 3rd day of CNY (16/02/2010-19/02/2010)
very tiring... 1st day went there and yam char at night at auto city.
ntg can do coz reached there at about dinner time and nid to rest.
2nd day went to penang, gurney plaza. walk walk and sit at starbucks drink and smoke.
night went to mois club and overnight at pc's house. the next day wake up quite late and went to prangi mall, coz too sleepy so fall asleep in the car awhile. after prangi mall went to a japanese restaurant, blue mantion. then after that we went to kek lok si. so many ppl there. we pray and took photos =) night we went to banana's friend b'day at flamingo hotel. drink there awhile then went bak to butterworth. friday we wake up quite late coz too tired d. after lunch we start our journey bak to klang.

a trip with my dear. felt so happy. and love my dear so much.
hopefully everything will be alright and better =)
muax~ <3

[11/2/2010]

from outside i looks like ntg, dun care, dun mind...
do anyone know what happening in my inner part?
my heart is bleeding.....
no one will understand me...
i dun wan ppl who around me sad becoz of me..
always talk crap and do stupid things is jz wan u to be more happy when tgt with me..
i cared alot for u, jz that i didn't show out.

so sad after gone down from the car
hold my tears until i went in home
keep crying, dunno why....
everything is my fault...
things shouldn't happened lidat...
sigh.... the feel being ignore is so hard to take it!
never feel this way b4!
hate being ignore! T____T
dun like ~!#$%^&*

[10/2/2010]

today dear going bak to her home...
i hv to sleep alone d...
dunno can fall sleep without her anot...
scared... but hv to.... sigh
miss her so much............
and love her so much..........

[俩话题]

你昨天说了，
不可以吻我
不可以碰我
那我们帕托来干嘛？


这让我静了一下
想了一下。
这也是的 到底怎么了？
在性爱方面我们已经没有了
连碰我和吻我 都不可以
那我们在一起是干嘛哦？

以前的她 离开我的原因
就是在许多方面的安全感 给不到我
她觉得很自卑 很没用 才离开我
希望我可以找到一个
在金钱方面和性爱方面都能满足我的人

现在的我，什么都不需要啊
我自己可以满足自己
所谓大家说的
要会知足 生活才会过得开心！
对吧。。。？
我可以证明给大家看哦。

那天我们聊到 怎么我们都感觉
这段感情有点怪怪的
很没安全感 很不稳定
其实是什么原因呢？

是不是因为性爱呢
没有性的爱真的很危险
没保证 因为你我都不属于对方啊

两个人在一起
以前的他们 对我就像老婆一样
现在我真的感受到
老婆和女朋友的分别
老婆是自己人，女友都还是外人
可能一直都被人家像老婆这样对待
突然 不知道怎样当一个好女友！
很不习惯。。。

[今天]

我很想哭
可以大声地哭吗？

我突然发现从前自己是怎样对待你
只会发大小姐脾气
现在我突然学会了 很多东西

今天坐在那 看着路人来来去去
眼泪就差一点 流了出来
不是因为我想念你
而是我感受到 我以前怎样对你
就根本没理会到你的感受
我。。对不起。。。

我真的很想说
我长大了 学会了很多东西
希望 老天可以再给我一次机会
让我好好的爱 我现在的她。

虽然有时我很任性
对你没大没小
可是我没心的
我知道今天说了很多伤你的话
其实我没这意思的
希望你不要放在心上。

我还有很长的路要和你一起走的
亲爱的。。对不起。。。